Movie News: It feels like someone hit me on the head with a wrench

Oh my frikkin god! I just found out something that completely blew my mind out of commission today. (That’s pretty bad considering that its only 9:00. Anyway, here it is…

They are making a ‘Three Stooges’ movie!

By “they” I mean the (in)famous Farrelly Brothers. Yes, those champions of comedy who brought us ‘Dumb & Dumber’ and ‘There’s Something About Mary.’

Ok… Try to focus your thoughts… Breathe… Breathe… Ok.

Now, I don’t really know what to think about this. Generally, I like the Farrelly Brothers comedy style. I don’t particularly like their casting choices, but that is a different issue. The biggest thing that is screaming in my brain is the question, “Why?” Why would they make a movie that couldn’t possibly succeed?

I feel confident making that statement for a couple of reasons. First, there will be the purists who refuse to even accept Shemp, Joe or Curly-Joe as true stooges. These people will surely be the loudest critics.

Then, there are the people who have never watched The Stooges. This may be due to the fact that they were born after 1970. It may also be due to the fact that Vaudeville-style slapstick humor went out long before 1970.

Finally, there are the people who just don’t understand Stooge comedy. These people have seen several episodes. They may even have chuckled a few times at a slap or a poke. When it finally comes down to it, though, they just don’t get it.

With all that opposition, the only people you will have left who want to see this movie will be single white males, aged 30-50. So, to summarize, the Farrelly Brothers are make a movie for all those sad lonely guys who eat alone in their apartments with all the lights out watching TV and playing computer games. On a plus note, the DVD sales/rentals will be through the roof.